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This page contains old posts of mine from the
Miscellaneous Bulletin Board. I figure it's a
good idea to store these in a public place:
they still make me smile, and my computer has
been as unreliable as I have been about keeping up
with corr games or sticking around for tournaments....
Some of this data has been transferred to new
hard drives *twice*! Unfortunately, not all of my
old favorites survived a hard drive crash last
summer.... Still, maybe someone else can get a
chuckle from these remaining old posts as well!
(Last Updated: February 22, 2002)
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"Wayward Hairy Fries" -- Originally Posted: March 26, 2000

I was eating some chicken and french fries earlier
today, and one of my fries fell to the floor. When
I picked it up, a hair was stuck to it.

It occurred to me that I was witnessing a universal
truth: fallen french fries attract hair. It seems
every fallen fry unavoidably has a hair on it when
it is retrieved from the floor. Why is this?

It seems even more odd because I had vacuumed my
carpet earlier today. Why was this fry more
effective at picking up this hair than my vacuum
cleaner? Does it mean that I should toss my Hoover
and buy a Kirby? Or, should I make a point of
throwing a few orders of fries on my carpet after
I vacuum it, just to make sure I get all of the
hairs my vacuum cleaner missed?

My guess is that electrical forces are at work here.
Could the ionized salt on the fry be attracting the
hair? Does a french fry have a net charge opposite
that of a human hair? Or is it simply a matter of
fry grease acting as an adhesive?

I turned the fry over to see if the hair would fall
off due to gravitational force, but it remained
attached to the fry even after a few light taps.

If anyone here with a better background in Physics
and/or Chemistry has some insight into the nature of
wayward hairy fries, I'd be most appreciative!

--Fingerly


"Hel is a Republican" thread (Or something like that) -- Originally Posted: March 31, 2000

> > > > > > > > > > > Every time someone suggests you're a Republican, you
> > > > > > > > > > > go into orbit. I've been willing to credit you as a
> > > > > > > > > > > libertarian from time to time, in deference to your
> > > > > > > > > > > sensitivity.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > The trouble is, you never seem to post articles that are
> > > > > > > > > > > critical of Republicans. Virtually all of your political
> > > > > > > > > > > stuff is anti-Democrat. Since you insist you're not a
> > > > > > > > > > > Republican, would you mind being an equal opportunity
> > > > > > > > > > > critic...just once?
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Reinfeld
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Hel: Reiny, good point and I will address this, as others
> > > > > > > > > > including IDigVampi have made similar remarks.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Not long ago in here, I posted an article about George W.
> > > > > > > > > > apparently getting caught up in some money raising scandel
> > > > > > > > > > or kickback scheme -0 along with his dad, Georege Bush Sr.
> > > > > > > > > > And when I posted it, told IDig then, that I WILL post
> > > > > > > > > > the scurilous actions of Repubs WHENEVER I SEE THEM! It just
> > > > > > > > > > so happens, the Repubs as a whole don't get caught up
> > > > > > > > > > in the criminal acts that Dems do. not my fault! sorry.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Do you remember all the hate in this country for Nute Gingrich?
> > > > > > > > > > Yet, nobody who professed a hatred of Gingrich could tell
> > > > > > > > > > you anything he did wrong! In fact, as Mensch will tell you,
> > > > > > > > > > the only charge of the hundreds made by Boniore(D MI) on Gingrich
> > > > > > > > > > that stuck, was later found to be nothing more than a trumped
> > > > > > > > > > up lying liberal charge, and Gingrich was vindicated but was GONE
> > > > > > > > > > before the truth came out. Face it, Reiny, the Democrat operatives
> > > > > > > > > > are LIARS - first class.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Now, when a Repub gets invovled in such skullduggery, please
> > > > > > > > > > post it. You won't have nearly as much to say as when you
> > > > > > > > > > post the criminal acts that dems perform. Sorry if the truth
> > > > > > > > > > hurts.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Look at Janet Reno And Al Gore (not to mention the CLintons)
> > > > > > > > > > Reno is thumbing her nose at America! She is a CRIMINAL
> > > > > > > > > > that should be charged with dereliction of duty and bounced
> > > > > > > > > > right out of office. She stands now in contempt of congress
> > > > > > > > > > for her continual refusal to name a special prosecutor
> > > > > > > > > > in the whitehouse email case, something that has lingered
> > > > > > > > > > for two years now. Why?
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I'll tell ya why, Reno puts the Clintons number 1,
> > > > > > > > > > her party number two, and American interests, which
> > > > > > > > > > she SWORE to defend - at number 3. THAT'S WHY! These
> > > > > > > > > > are deadly serious allegations, not this puppy sh!t
> > > > > > > > > > that got Gingrich out of office. But does the air
> > > > > > > > > > rique of hatred for Reno...? No.. dems love her so for
> > > > > > > > > > sticking by her man, Al Whore. (and Clintons too)
> > > > > > > > > > Can you imagine if Gingrich had doen ANYTHING that
> > > > > > > > > > outrageous, yet it is Gingrich that is gone and Reno
> > > > > > > > > > that remains.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Of course, I can fill twenty pages in here with things
> > > > > > > > > > that America lets deomcrats get away with that a Republican
> > > > > > > > > > would be shot at sunrise for. Who was the Repub Senator that
> > > > > > > > > > was forced to step DOWN for KISSING women staffers? HUHHHHH?
> > > > > > > > > > Yet, pigf@@@er Clinton can get blowjobs in the oval office by a
> > > > > > > > > > staffer, lie about it to a grand jury and ALL DEMOCRATS voted NO
> > > > > > > > > > in the impeachment and most americans agreed that Bil should
> > > > > > > > > > not be impeached for his actions. HUHHH??? Hypocracy at is
> > > > > > > > > > greatest heights for sleazy democrats!
> > > > > > > > > >

I don't recall the case of the Republican Senator getting forced out
for kissing staffers.... We all recall Clinton's "staff support,"
though. There may be a key difference between the two issues here.
Did the Republican Senator's staffers *want* to be kissed? If not,
*there's* the difference. (Am I about to catch Hel or what?!?)

Extramarital fellatio may well be morally repugnant, but it is not
illegal. BC's dirty laundry with regard to this issue has been aired
at length, and it's a tired subject. What happened between BC and
Monica was clearly something (morally repugnant!) between consenting
adults. That this tawdry affair became public knowledge is not only
a stain on (a dress!) the Presidency, but it is also a stain on the
American people and a stain on BC *and family.*

Perjury is certainly illegal. Many people gave BC a break on this
issue not because he is a Democrat, but because they believed he and
his family were already suffering enough through the public
humiliation of it all. You can say all you want about the Lewinsky
affair being "evidence" to make the Paula Jones case stand up, but
many people find BC's denial RE: Lewinsky an understandable stance.
He was trying to protect himself and his family from knowledge of
something that was (morally repugnant!) *hard to swallow,* but not
*illegal.* (What? Fingerly says perjury is illegal but not for cases
of consensual fellatio? Well, that depends on what your definition
of "is" is!)

No one would give a *rat's @$$* if Joe Neighbor received fellatio
from someone other than his wife. Clinton is *the President,*
though, and you know what? *Presidents* have *political enemies.*
The Repubs were obsessive about BC's Lewinsky affair in a manner
that brought them much shame in the public eye. These fuming Repubs
kinda resembled the Dems about Gingrich, didn't they?!? I'm seeing
less in common between a "suspect cash flow" case on Gingrich than
I am about a consensual fellatio case on Clinton, though....

I'm not holding Clinton up as a saint at all: I believe he's as
corrupt as your run-of-the-mill, less-than-exceptional President
*from either camp.* I just think the Lewinsky thing is a pile of
poo that should be stepped over rather than stepped on. If you want
to slam him, leave the Lewinsky stuff out of it and go after *real
crimes* and not *political stable-cleaning.*

(I know that Hel has been going after everything destestable and
potentially-detestable about Clinton.... I'm just a little tired of
hearing about perjury charges that are related to acts that are
embarassing but not illegal. I actually find the Clinton Body
Count list intriguing as well as disturbing, tinged as it is with
"conspiracy theory" mumbo-jumbo!)

--Fingerly

> > > > > > > > > > When George Bush ran agaisnt Clinton, do you know who it was that
> > > > > > > > > > was finally identified for starting the bogus rumors that
> > > > > > > > > > Bush was having an afair..... ? HIlaryu CLINTON of ALL people!
> > > > > > > > > > What BALLS these lairs Have!
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Who is sh!titng who, Reiny? It is not an even palying field,
> > > > > > > > > > nor do the republicnas get themselves caught up in 1/10
> > > > > > > > > > the crap that dems do, and "thats's just a natural fact",
> > > > > > > > > > because as we all know, dems are just natural liars.
> > > > > > > > > >

Correction: *Politicians* are just natural liars. Of course,
there are exceptions to the rule, but we haven't been fortunate
enough to have such an exception rise to the top in the U.S. for
a few decades at least.

--Fingerly

> > > > > > > > > > Let's have a contest, Reiny. You post all the outrageous things
> > > > > > > > > > that Repubs do and I'll post the outrageous things the Dems do.
> > > > > > > > > > Who do you think will fill the BB first? Right.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > hope that answers you, Reiny.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Hel
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > LOL !!!! No contest !!! The dems will win this one hands
> > > > > > > > > down. LOL !!!! Attaboy, Hel !!!!!! DMZ
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >

*Presidents* attract this kind of heat, and we've had some corrupt
big cats for at least 20 years. Members of Congress and the Judiciary
simply do not attract the kind of *needle in an @$$crack* probes that
Presidents attract. Members of Congress and the Judiciary do get
attention! But when it's the *President* in question, *everyone*
listens! Not only does everyone listen, but the acting Congress
usually takes the lead in making sure that everyone listens. Things
*will* flip-flop between the parties in this regard: it's just a
matter of time.

Why do you think the American people see fit to keep the Executive
and Legislative branches at political odds? No one trusts *anyone*
who wants to be President! Why? Because all of the Presidents
we've seen for decades have *lied* to us to suit their own ends!
Remember Bush Sr.'s campaign slogan? "Read my lips: No new taxes!"
Remember Reagan's "I don't recall" answer to so many of the *probing*
questions he endured during his own IC investigations? (Of course,
arguably this may be due to the early stages of Alzheimer's, but
*how convenient,* right, Repubs?)

When the Repubs win back the Oval Office, whether in this election
or later, the American people will *see fit* to return Congress to
the Democrats. If it doesn't happen in the same election year,
give it two years: it will happen. It's the American Way!

As an aside, and possibly deserving of its own thread, I think we
need more viable political parties in this country. Not only are
there are more than two sides to most political issues, but a
virtually infinite number of party platforms are possible....
While a few people may completely agree with the whole of either
party's platform, the majority of us find faults here and there
in each platform. Without a greater number of viable parties, we
will continue to see either-or gridlock between the Executive and
Legislative branches (and in the Legislative process in general),
and we will continue to see government here that cannot compromise
in favor of the will of the people in many cases. (An "Act of
Congress" wouldn't seem so impossible in a system with several
viable political parties, as a few parties are sure to be able
to compromise with each other more-capably than a two-party system.)

--Fingerly

> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > This post confirms to me that Hel is a closet Republican.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Ray
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Hel: Truly, Ray, what it SHOULD confirm is that I care about
> > > > > > > any public office holder being a law breaking criminal.
> > > > > > > I don't like sneeky politicians getting away with "things".
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Ray, Tell me why Nute Gingrich was villified for writing a
> > > > > > > book while a being a congessman? The dems made it look so much
> > > > > > > like a conflict of interest that little "d" dems beleived it!
> > > > > > > Ahhhh, a CRIME!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > These are the same googoo heads that cheered JJFK's book,
> > > > > > > "Profiles in Courage" - written while he was President.
> > > > > > > I thought myself this was a good book too and never had any
> > > > > > > malice towards JFK for writing a book while being an
> > > > > > > office holder - how about you, Ray?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Now please tell me why Gingrich was such a bastard for writing
> > > > > > > a book while in public office.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > tic tic.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > I'm not going to get into with you, but it's clear to me
> > > > > > that you look much harder for corruption among Dems than
> > > > > > among Repubs. That's all I have to say about it. MO.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Ray
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Reinfeld said:
> > > > > (sigh) Ray is dead on, Pete. It's easy to say there are no
> > > > > comparable offenses if you don't look for them.
> > > >
> > > > Hel: And it is even eaiser to say there are comparable offense
> > > > whithout SHOWING THEM.
> > > >
> > > > Reiny, I do agree that all humans are subject to similar
> > > > forces, however, what you and I believe may not tell the
> > > > whole story. If you and Ray and iDig were genuine, you
> > > > would simply shut me up by PRODUCING these comparable offenses.
> > > >
> > > >

It will be much

> > > > > And it's
> > > > > very obvious that you don't look for it among Republicans.
> > > >
> > > > Hel: My friend, Reiny..... you must believe me. Every day,
> > > > I scour through Reuters, AP, UPI, AFP, and other world
> > > > newswires. I see nothing comparable from the camp Republican.
> > > > The worst in recent years that I Saw was a WHOLE nation
> > > > becoming unglued over Nute Gingrich's getting "caught"
> > > > taking a $1,000 lecture fee, for which it was alleged
> > > > that it was an ethics violation. This antion ROCKED with
> > > > hatred! "GET HIM! GET HIM! THROW HIM OU OF OFFICE!" And of
> > > > course, Nute resigned. Shortly afterwards, it was shoen that
> > > > Nute was not at all out of bounds of ethics regulations.
> > > >
> >
> >
> >
> > Rienfled asks:
> > > Later shown by who?
> >
> >
> > Hel: Reiny, I think it was a group of lawyers.
> > I *know* you will take Mensch's word for it. We discussed
> > that issue in here. He knows. It's an "interpretation"
> > of the rules thingy.
> >
> > But let's be serious now, they took Gingrich to the shack
> > for a beating SO FAST, over so little ($1,000? $1,500). Unreal!
> > Now I do not say that is bad thing, in fact I say that is
> > a GOOD thing, in and of itslef. The problem is, we have
> > two different forms of justice - one for soft and fuzzy Dems,
> > and one for mean spirited republicans. Beleive me, Reiny!
> > The fuss with what Gingrich did was not the act itself,
> > it was that he is a Rpeublican. You want proof?
> >
> > Look at Al Gore and his ILLEGAL act of taking $60,000 in campaign
> > contributions at a Bhudist temple. The donator has already been
> > brought to trial. What about GORE????? Why does Janet
> > Reno do everything she can to prevent Gore's being investigated?
> > Why isn't the American public 1/10th as upset at Gore for
> > his illegal money taking as they were at Gingrich for his
> > percieved breaking of ethics codes?
> >
> > Remember, it was thought that Gingrich only broke ethics
> > rules, not federal laws - there is a differnce! Yet it was
> > Gingrich that was given the bums rush by the pols and by
> > the American people, wheras Gore will be elected President
> > and :::HUGGED::: by all the huggabies. Two opposite forms
> > of justice.
> >
> > proof enough? your welcome, Reiny.
> >
> > Reinfeld said:
> > > Please explain why a majority of House members (including
> > > members of his own party) agreed in a public vote that Newt
> > > did in fact violate ethics statutes.
> >
> > Hel: Because they truly thought that he did. Everyone did.
> > But it appears that upon seeing instant replay, legal
> > minds, including Mensch, say he did not. Close call, eh?
> >
> > Reinfeld said:
> > > Please explain why
> > > Newt's lying *under oath* does not concern you as much as
> > > it does in the Clinton example. If it's criminal for one,
> > > it's criminal for all.
> >
> > Hel: I could not agree more! So let's do the same to Clinton that
> > *we* did to Gingrich. Are you prepared to do that, Reiny? I am.
> > Nobody should be able to lie under oath and get away
> > with it, epsecially pols in high places. "BORK HIM" !

Ray Lopez said:
> Could somebody refresh me on this? Was Gingrich forced out
> because of the book ethic thing?

Hel: No, not a shot. that was legit.

Ray Lopez said:
> I thought he was forced
> out by his own party for some other reason, which I can't
> remember. I'm really starting to worry about my short-
> term memory.

>Hel: You are correct. His own party bounced him becasue of lack
> of confidence in him as a leader as he was percieved so
> negatiely in the press and held in such contaptable regard
> by the general public. His strtegy in midterm election of '96
> backfired too, the dems gained back some seats. That was the
> Coup de grace for Gingrich, but he was not longing to be majority
> leader at that point anyway.

If I recall correctly, Newt Gingrich and Clinton had a
government shutdown "showdown" over budget disagreements
in late 1995.... Many people saw Gingrich as the "bad
guy" using stalling tactics to press his points at the
expense of federal employees and their families (as well
as anyone wanting to use federal government services,
including visiting National Parks for vacations). Didn't
this public fiasco help to undermine Newt's (segmented)
popularity? Wasn't this the beginning of Newt's end?
And what did Rush Limbaugh have to say about it? ;)

--Fingerly


> Ray

> > > -- R.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Now, show me that I AM wrong, Reiny, just don't utter the
> > > > words. Ok? I could fill PAGES on what the Clintons have done
> > > > and gotten away with, I can show you a VP, Al Whore, who RIGHT NOW
> > > > is under suspicion for ileagally taking $60,000 at a Bhudist Temple
> > > > and there is NO SUCH ROAR form the crowd to impeach him.
> > > > Web Hubbel, the 2nd most powerful man in the DoJ, is IN PRISON
> > > > was we speak.
> > > >
> > > > Come on , Reiny.... Show me.
> > > >
> > > > > If you did, you might have some inkling of GWBush's
> > > > > remarkable series of tainted oil-business deals that exceed
> > > > > anything mentioned in the Whitewater cases.
> > > >
> > > > Hel: Well DAMN IT, I posted that in here! Ask iDig, because
> > > > when I did, I made it a point to say to iDig that I will
> > > > in fact post up when Repubs do scurilous things.
> > > >
> > > > Go to the bank on it, Reiny. YOu and Ray are being unfair here.
> > > >
> > > > > The answer to your question about Gingrich, lazyass, is
> > > > > this: After dethroning House Speaker Jim Wright for modest
> > > > > financial shenanigans involving a book deal, Gingrich
> > > > > undertook his own fishy book and lecture deals. Reprimanded
> > > > > by the House for fibbing under oath, he wanted Clinton
> > > > > impeached for doing the same.
> > > >
> > > > Hel: Pure BULL! Yes he did DETHRONE the piece of crap, Wright,
> > > > as he should. Wright had a bogus book deal that was nothing
> > > > but a scheme to funnel fund to him from some special interest
> > > > briber/lobbyist. Yes, he SHOULD Be bounced out.
> > > >
> > > > Gingrich published his book, and lo and behold... it SOLD!
> > > > this pissed democrats off so badly that theystarted their war
> > > > on Nute.
> > > >
> > > > I cannot give exact figures at this late date, Reiny so I hope
> > > > you understand, but the advance that Gingrich got form his publisher
> > > > was roughly 1.4 million based on projected sales. They actully
> > > > forced Nute to agree to take less as Dems thought that
> > > > these advanced sales figure were ludicrously high.
> > > >
> > > > When, in the future, the actual figures for sales were known,
> > > > the publisher said that such sales would have commanded
> > > > a figure close to $1.2 million, or very close to what they
> > > > gave Gingrich to begin with.
> > > >
> > > > You're wrong, Reiny, Nute's book deal did not stink. What stunk
> > > > was pissy-ass democrats that got stuck by Nute and did everything
> > > > they could to get him back.
> > > >
> > > > Sorry, Jim Wright was a blistering criminal! Nute Gingrich
> > > > was not - or he was never exposed to be.
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Number of independent counsel investigations under Clinton: 7
> > > > >
> > > > > Number of independent counsel investigations under Reagan: 7
> > > > >
> > > > > Go do some work, Pete.
> > > >
> > > > Hel: Reagan was 12 years ago to 20 years ago! YOU do the f'n work.
> > > > I am talking about right NOW, current events, not ancient history.
> > > >
> >
> >
> > Reinfled said:
> > > Very convenient. Please let me know the timeline cutoff for
> > > when criminal behavior by elected officials is supposed to
> > > be excused. Apparently, your litmus test for acceptable
> > > examples of ethical lapses has to meet the following
> > > criteria:
> > >
> > > 1. It can only refer to Democrats
> > > 2. It can only be about something related to current
> > > events, unless it's about Democrats, in which case time
> > > is irrelevant.
> > > 3. It doesn't matter if Rs have enagaged in the same
> > > misbehavior as Ds (i.e., lying under oath) -- it still
> > > matters more if it's a D.
> >
> >
> > Hel: Horsecrap. Come on Reiny. you want to go back in
> > history? fine. What about Ted kenedy committing vehicular
> > homicide on a woman and "allegedly" raping another, only
> > him and Chris Dodd (D CN) bought their way out.
> >
> > But when Clarence Thomas said "pubic hair" and "long dong silver"
> > IN FRONT of a woman, the Dems had a high Tehc Lynching of Thomas
> > on nationwide TV to the screams of NOW-ies saying "Bork him"!
> > Meanwhile, Ted Kenedy who only lost his license for his
> > vehicular homicde of a woman and never got brought in to answer
> > ethics vilations, presided over Thomas' hearing. Nice, huh?
> >
> > BTW, Thomas' alleged remarks were NOT illegal at the time he is
> > alleged to have said them. Vehicular homicide was illegal when
> > Kenedy dumped his car into the Atlantic killing a woman.
> > No high tech lynching on antional TV, no charges filed.

RayLopez said:
> But he got the ultimate punishment, for a Kennedy: he didn't
> get to run for president! :) Whereas Thomas DID get to be
> a supreme court justice.

Hel: Not quite! Kennedy did not get to *be* president -
is more precise. He did, in fact, "run" for president but
did not get his party's nomination. Go ahead, ask me the
year... GAD! ahhhhhh, about 1980, I think.

>

> Ray
> >
> > Ok, you want to go back in history? it won't gain you much.
> > When you see me post in here, it is generally about
> > some news itme I just read. So what? I should think that
> > Janet Reno's being in conempt of congress RIGHT NOW is news
> > and noteworthy! And too F'n bad if she is a democrat.
> > NOT MY FAULT.
> >
> >
> > Reinfled said:
> > > We have had a Dem president for the past eight years, so
> > > it is admittedly difficult to locate recent examples of
> > > misbehavior by Republican presidents and veeps. As far as
> > > ancient history goes, most of the Whitewater stuff goes back
> > > a decade or so and more, so tell me why I shouldn't call
> > > it ancient history.
> >
> > Hel: Well, for one, the man that was invovled with whiteater and
> > castle grande is in the whitehouse, reason enough?
> > Spirow Agnew was caught cheating on his taxes and they
> > threw him right out of the whitehouse!!! (vice president)
> > But, who gives a crap today, unelss he was president.
> > BTW, I Am glad they bounced Agnew, I just wish they
> > would do it to the pigf@@@er, too.
> >

Has anyone ever referred to Monica Lewinsky as "Ms. Piggy?" ;)

--Fingerly

> > Reinfeld said:
> > > Face it. You spend more time looking for D foibles,
> >
> > hel: FALSE! THat's bullsh!t, Reiny.
> >
> > Reinfled:
> > > you post them with greater glee, and you rant with greater
> > > venom.
> >
> > Hel: Yes because it is getting TOO predictable. Look at the criminal
> > Janet Reno and her Clinton appointed Justice Department cronies
> > doing everything they can to stop the whitehouse e-mail
> > investigation and Al Whore's invovlement in illegal activities.
> >
> > Funny, when Nixon obstructed justice, the Dems went APESH!T.
> > What's wrong here? Why is this man, Al Gore, able to run for
> > president? Run for president...? He should be in PRISON.
> > That SUCKS, no matter whether you are a Dem or Repub.
> > Still think it is just me, Reiny?
> >
> > Reinfeld said:
> > >The original contention was that Dems are more
> > > prone to ethical lapses. I've given you the stat that
> > > compares the current administration with the last two-term
> > > Republican administration, which shows the exact same
> > > number of independent counsel investigations. You want to
> > > say the old numbers matter less than the new. I say
> > > you're wrong.
> >
> > hel: I'll give you that one, but I refuse to come in here
> > and post up about investigations into Reagan's activities
> > just to balance off a current event report that I post
> > about democrats that are criminals in motion right, Ok?
> > Sorry, I ain't gonna do it. Expect me to post them as I
> > see them. You don't like the results? too bad.
> >
> > But I do appreciate you coming back at me and allowing me
> > to clear the air. I respect that.
> >
> > Hel.
> > >
> > > -- Reinfeld
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Now, please top Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, Web Hubbel,
> > > > Al Gore. Or of course, suffer the humiliation of you mouth
> > > > having written a check that your ass can't cash. Ditto to Ray.
> > > >
> > > > You ain't even close.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > -- Reinfeld
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
>


"Quiet Riot" -- Originally Posted: April 20, 2000

Tonight was a strange night indeed! Tonight, I
witnessed a little piece of history. Tonight,
I witnessed something that was not quite a
generation gap. Tonight, I saw Quiet Riot play
a set at Rick's Place here in Denton, Texas!

I must have been in the eighth grade or a
freshman in high school when Quiet Riot took to
the radio waves with "Bang Your Head" and "C*m
On Feel the Noize." At the time, frankly, I
*DESPISED* Quiet Riot! In 1983 and 1984, I was
still listening to the Sex Pistols, the Clash,
the Alarm, Generation X (and Billy Idol), the
Damned, Wire, Gary Numan, and Devo, among many
others.... Quiet Riot stood for everything
I hated about my peers!

This was in a day that it was still very common
to see elaborately-drawn marquees (of sorts) on
public-school desks for such bands as Led
Zeppelin, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, the
Grateful Dead, Blue Oyster Cult, Rush, Pink
Floyd and the like.... Not to slight these
great bands: it's simply that even in the early
'80s, this stuff was *OLD*! To me, bands like
Quiet Riot, Poison, Whitesnake and the like were
simply bad hair extensions on those old roots!

When I learned that Quiet Riot would be playing
a *Wednesday-night set* at a music venue in
*Denton, Texas* that can hold no more than about
*600 people* in the year *2000*, I thought: "Sad!"

But I talked about it with a friend of mine, and
what seemed sad at first actually started to
sound funny! Why not go for the sheer comedy
factor of it?!? They only had two hits: would
they resort to playing the head-banging versions
of them as well as instrumental versions and
*a capella* versions? (I didn't believe this, but
the hypothetical possibility stirred some laughs!)

I met some friends there tonight a couple of
songs into the set. Rick's Place is essentially
a college-town hangout on the edge of the campus
of the University of North Texas, but it draws a
mixed-ages crowd on many nights. I was expecting
to see some red-and-black zebra-striped spandex
tonight on some of the 30-somethings in the crowd,
but the spandex did not rear its ugly head!

What I saw were *mostly college students* wearing
what they normally wear, getting into Quiet Riot!
Laughter and silliness were definitely in the air,
but it was a *good-time crowd*!

The band was very tight, and my impression of the
first two songs I heard was: "Hey, they're not
half-bad! They're even better than most of the
local schtick I see in Denton and Dallas!" Then,
they broke into a couple of rock ballads that
*reeked* of the 80s: these rock ballads were not
good enough to make it to the airwaves even then,
though.... Luckily, they pulled back out of this
slump into some songs that actually got the crowd
to play *Pass-the-Kid*!

All along the way, the singer, Kevin DuBrow, was
working the crowd quite professionally. It didn't
matter to the crowd that his in-between monologues
were well-rehearsed: he delivered in a way that is
simply not seen much today. He was surprisingly
successful at inspiring the crowd to sing along to
songs they obviously didn't know!

DuBrow was even publicly aware of the place Quiet
Riot holds in the history of American music. Late
in the set, before they went into "Noize," he was
commenting on how the song had become a national
sports anthem of sorts, and how he thought it should
become associated with a yet-to-be-seen national mud
wrestling championship! ;) He maintained a strangely
serious sense of humor throughout the show, really....

The young crowd was remarkably responsive to the band:
singing along when prompted; lighting their lighters
above their heads as DuBrow paid tribute to the late
ex-member Randy Rhoads; Passing the Kid; lifting their
arms up in the air on command.... I walked away
tonight feeling...impressed!

Impressed? No, it couldn't be.... Or could it?! At
the very least, I can say that I was there! ;)

*hic!*

--Fingerly


"Unibrow" -- Originally Posted: May 15, 2000

I found myself chatting with a cutie at a party
this weekend, but I couldn't bring myself to ask
her out. You see, I noticed something about her
that I found a little too annoying, and once I
noticed it, I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Quite simply, she plucks her eyebrows too much.

I've come across a number of women in my time
who are obsessive about plucking their eyebrows.
This cutie was definitely not the worst case,
but she was approaching it. The worst cases I've
seen are women who virtually pluck every eyebrow
hair they have, then try to cover up their work
by using eyebrow pencils. What are they thinking?!?

Ladies, I've gotta tell ya: if you have a unibrow,
get after it! Pluck those central eyebrow hairs!
But know when to stop! ;)

Honestly, I've never seen a woman with a unibrow.
I've seen Gabriela Sabatini, who happens to be
quite attractive in spite of her bushy brows and
slightly masculine physique, but I'd take her
thick brows any day over drawn-on eyebrow lines.

While I'm on the topic of eyebrows, I might as well
relate the *very* worst case I've ever seen, and it
happens to be a male.

I work with a man who is in his early forties who I
will call "Harry." I'm changing his name because
he may well be the only person on the planet who
fits the description I'm about to give, and I'd
hate to think that anyone here might recognize him.

Harry has a grotesque softball-sized hernia between
his bellybutton and his left nipple: it looks like
a tumor under his Polo shirts. We believe it may
be caused by an enlarged liver due to his alcohol
intake, but other explanations have cropped up over
the years. You see, Harry has some other habits
that are quite unusual.... Harry is a fidgety guy,
and he has a tendency to tear up pieces of paper,
roll them up into tiny balls, and chew on them all
the time. He also has another most-unusual habit:
he eats his eyebrows.

That's right! Harry eats his eyebrows. My boss has
known Harry for many years, and it was only after my
boss pointed out these habits to me that I started
watching Harry.... Harry's eyebrows are virtually
non-existent, and it's hard to tell because his hair
color is very close to the color of his skin. Still,
I have seen him eat his own eyebrow hair....

I was in a meeting with my boss, Harry, and several
other people a few months ago, and I noticed Harry
pulling on his eyebrow hairs with his fingertips.
Sure enough, he finally plucked one, and as I had
my head lowered to look at the reports we were
discussing in the meeting, I noticed in my peripheral
vision a fairly quick motion from the eyebrow to the
mouth with those plucking fingers.... It always seems
that Harry is making a light sort of chewing sound
with his lips slightly parted: this sound began
eminating from him right after Harry had placed the
eyebrow hair in his mouth.

My boss had told me before this meeting about Harry's
habits, and about a cruel joke he had played on Harry
during a similar meeting a few years earlier. Having
seen Harry's work with spitballs, my boss arrived to
a meeting before Harry one day and decided to set five
tiny balls of paper in the center of the conference
table. Harry and others later arrived and the meeting
commenced.... My boss only saw Harry take one of the
balls of paper, but he never saw Harry put the ball
in his mouth. He did notice, though, that Harry was
making that chewing sound throughout most of the
meeting, and that after the meeting, there were only
two balls of paper left on the conference table!

My boss claims that he has never seen a spitwad leave
Harry's mouth, so we can only conclude that he chews
on them until they dissolve or until he decides to
swallow them. Whether or not Harry's ingestion of
spitwads and eyebrow hairs contributes to the size of
his hernia is still a mystery....

--Fingerly


"What Really Matters" -- Originally Posted: May 31, 2000

Discussions of Chess rarely find their way into the worlds
of politics and religion these days. When you get right
down to it, politics, religion, philosophy, psychology,
mainstream alternative music, soccer, beer, and science are
worthless without a healthy smathering of Chess: this is
what is lacking most in our society today. If only our
political and religious leaders were aware of this simple
truism, we would all have the role models we need to show
us the enlightened path to true human discourse.

Chess, itself, is the greatest communication tool we have.
When I say "That dog is mangy" to five or six billion people,
my attempt to communicate is immediately flawed. Most of
these people do not even speak English, yet of those who do,
certainly one of them will think I said "That pizza is moldy."

However, if I fork the King and Queen of each of these people
with a properly placed Knight, regardless of whether or not
they know the Rules of Chess, they each know I have made a
concrete effort to touch their lives on a level they are
capable of understanding. After all, a Knight is always a
Knight! Figurine algebraic notation makes it so in any
language. Moreover, once my Knight has moved to the forking
square, the obligation to move passes to my opponent. What
aspect of any religion or of any political institution is as
universal as the Knight, or is as personal to everyone as the
obligation to move?

I feel certain that continuing on this line is pointless now.
Each of you were born knowing the whole of my argument: whether
or not you remembered even portions of it from birth, I have
undoubtedly restored it in each of you to a level of perfection
that is not done justice by my crude presentation.

--Fingerly


"Kultural Komparison Kwiz" -- Originally Posted: July 15, 2000

SECTION ONE -- America in the 1970s                               

.
Fill in the blank.
.
1. Where, O, where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and thought I'd found true love,
You met another and --------- you were gone.
.
2. Haiiiirehubbahooreymummahuckuwah!
Heeeeyrahubbabockabubbachuckuwah!
Hooooreyhummamuckabuckadaddadang!
Hooooreyhummunaneeryhoorahuminah!
.
Ever heard of a ricochet biscuit? A ricochet biscuit is a
kind of biscuit that's supposed to bounce back off the wall
into your mouth. If it don't bounce back (hehehehehehehe!),
--- -- ------!

.
3. Oral Roberts: "Something good is going to ------ -- ---."
.
4. Meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow ----!
.
5. Boy the way Glen Miller played,
Songs that made the Hit Parade,
Guys like us we had it made,
----- ---- --- ----,
.
And you know where you were then,
Girls were girls and men were men,
Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.
.
Didn't need no welfare state.
Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee, our old Lasalle ran great.
----- ---- --- ----!"
.

.
SECTION TWO: Ancient Greece
.
Multiple guess. In each group, select the item which doesn't belong.
.
6. A. Hermes: Olympic speed demon.
B. Heracles: son of Zeus; great warrior.
C. Manacles: patron god of jailors.
D. Euripides: tragedian; wrote *The Bacchae*
.
7. A. Sophocles: dramatist; wrote *Oedipus the King*.
B. Pericles: statesman; orator; general.
C. Testicles: author of first self-help book.
D. Socrates: philosopher; teacher of Plato.
.
8. A. Memnon: King of Ethiopia; commanded 10,000 of his men
in the defense of Troy after the death of Hector.
B. Agamemnon: King of Mycenae; sacrificed his daughter,
Iphigenia, to Artemis.
C. Aphrodite: goddess of love; less beautiful than Helen
of Troy.
D. Hermaphrodite: mother and father of Zeus; supporter of
Testicles' work.
.
9. A. Caduceus: the winged staff of Hermes.
B. Petasus: the winged cap of Hermes.
C. Talaria: the winged sandals of Hermes.
D. Salmonella: hot wing disease; preferable to Herpes.
.
10. A. Atropos: One of the three Fates; cuts the thread of life.
B. Argos: Builder of the ship *Argo* for Jason.
C. Bacos: Food of the gods.
D. Lesbos: Island home of Sappho.

.
--Fingerly



"N BB" -- Originally Posted: August 11, 2000

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

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hehehehehehehehehehehehe ehehehehehehehehehe
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heheheheheheheheheh e ehehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheh hehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheh ehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheheheheh hehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehe hehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehe hehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehe ehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheh ehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheh hehehehehehehe
heheheheheheheh hehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheheheh hehehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheheh hehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheheheh hehehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheheh hehehehehehehehe
heheheheheheh hehehehehehehe
heheheheheheh hehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehefehehihehenehehgheheeehehrhehelehehyhehe
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe


"Thieves Among Us" -- Originally Posted: August 17, 2000
Strong in play and weak in heart,
These Caissan devils in disguise:
They see the board, every part,
Yet bring dark clouds to our fair skies.

Each new month a handle change,
Then scores of games and games and games:
Resigning eight is how they start,
Then win with basement-rated names.

Of what nature is this quest?
This wicked pleasure that they seek?
Hoarding points that they discard,
Having stolen from the meek?

Could it be their progress stalled?
A rating ceiling has been reached?
Getting better isn't fun:
So resort to points that are leeched?

These senseless wolves won't stop, it's clear,
Until all the sheep are fleeced.
If you ask the fundies here,
They bear the number of the Beast.

And yet we fight the futile fight
Against these hearts of vile goo,
Meaner than the dogs of night,
Darker than the blackest poo.

--Fingerly


"Calico Kitchen Menu" -- Originally Posted: August 22, 2000

CALICO KITCHEN MENU

~~~~~
Welcome to Calico Kitchen! At Calico Kitchen, we provide the
finest selection of farm-raised, Tender Vittles-fed felines
available anywhere in the world! Our well-trained staff hand-
selects the best for you and your loved ones, so you can rest
assured that your dining experience will be pristine! Enjoy!
~~~~~
BREAKFAST
All items served with Hash Browns and Your Choice
of Kitty Sausage or Kitty Bacon and either
Kliburn Toast or Manx Muffins.
~~~~~
Kitty Omelette..........................................$4.15
Kitty and Cheese Omelette...............................$4.40
Corned Kitty Hash.......................................$3.90
Kitty Waffles (2).......................................$4.00
Kitty Pancakes (3)......................................$4.00
Kitty Crepes (3)........................................$4.50
Frosted Kitty Flakes....................................$3.25
~~~~~
SOUPS
Cup Bowl
Kitty Con Queso with Tostadas..............$1.50........$2.75
Chunky Kitty Stew..........................$1.50........$2.75
Kitty Borsch...............................$1.50........$2.75
Kitty Minestrone...........................$1.50........$2.75
Kitty Chili................................$1.50........$2.75
Habanero Kitty Chili (It's Hot!)...........$1.75........$3.25
Creole Kitty Gumbo.........................$1.75........$3.25
Kitty Chowder..............................$1.75........$3.25
Kitty Menudo...............................$1.75........$3.25
Hairball Surprise..........................$2.00........$3.75
~~~~~
BURGERS, SANDWICHES, AND OTHER GOODIES
All Items served with Kitty Fries
unless marked with an asterisk (*).
.
Kitty Melt..............................................$4.25
Kitty Burger............................................$4.85
Kitty Burger with Cheese................................$5.25
Kitty Chili Burger......................................$5.35
Kitty, Lettuce, and Tomato..............................$4.50
Kitty Club..............................................$4.75
Kitty and Swiss on Rye..................................$4.75
Cold Kitty Sub..........................................$4.95
Chopped Kitty Barbecue Sandwich.........................$5.25
Kitty Philly Cheesesteak................................$5.50
Kitty Livers and Onions.................................$5.50
Fried Kitty Leg Basket (Declawed on Request)............$5.75
*Kitty Etouffe..........................................$5.75
*Individual Kitty Pepperoni Pizza.......................$5.50
*Individual Kitty Sausage Pizza.........................$5.50
*Siamese Sushi and Rice.................................$6.75
~~~~~
TEX-MEX SPECIALTIES
All Items served with Beans and Rice. Tacos,
Enchiladas, and Tamales may be substituted with
each other at no charge. Start off right with
Tostadas and our Kitty Con Queso!
.
Kitty Tacos (3).........................................$5.25
Kitty Enchiladas (3)....................................$5.25
Kitty Tamales (3).......................................$5.25
Kitty Burritos (2)......................................$5.50
Kitty Flautas (6).......................................$5.75
Kitty Chimichanga.......................................$5.75
Kitty Fajitas...........................................$6.75
~~~~~
ITALIAN SPECIALTIES
Served with Garlic Bread and Your Choice
of Kitty Caesar Salad or Cat Salami Antipasto.
All go well with our Kitty Minestrone Soup! (Meow!)
.
Spaghetti and Kitty Meatballs...........................$6.25
Linguini and Italian Kitty Sausage......................$6.25
Angel Hair Pasta with Kitty Pesto Sauce.................$6.75
Kitty Ravioli...........................................$6.75
Kitty Fettucine Alfredo.................................$7.25
Kitty Cacciatore........................................$7.25
Stuffed Kitty Shells (4)................................$7.25
~~~~~
ENTREES
You Pick the Kitty!
Served with Baked Potato.
.
Charbroiled Kitty.......................................$8.75
Baked Kitty.............................................$8.95
Cat Fondue.............................................$10.25
Kitty on a Spit.........................................$9.95
Kitty Kabobs (3).......................................$10.50
Persian Rump Roast.....................................$11.25
Kitty Flambe (Serves Two)..............................$26.75
~~~~~
FOR THE KIDDIES
Served with Kitty Fries
and a Small Kitty Cola.
.
Corny Kitty.............................................$2.75
Kiddie Kitty Burger.....................................$2.75
~~~~~
DRINKS
Free Refills on Kitty Tea
and Kitty Cola Only.
.
Kitty Tea...............................................$1.50
Kitty Cola..............................................$1.50
Hairball Tea............................................$1.75
Kitty Float.............................................$2.25
Kitty Shake.............................................$2.25
Kitty Malt..............................................$2.25
Kitty Coffee............................................$2.25
Kitty Amaretto..........................................$2.25
Kitty Mocha Latte.......................................$2.75
Kitty Espresso..........................................$2.75
~~~~~
FROM THE TAP
Glass Pitcher
Kitty Brew................................$2.50.........$8.50
Kitty Lite................................$2.50.........$8.50
Kitty Bock................................$2.70.........$8.95
Kitty Ale.................................$2.95.........$9.50
Calico Stout..............................$3.25........$10.75
~~~~~
DESSERTS
.
Pralines and Kitty......................................$2.75
Kitty Split.............................................$3.75
Kitty Meringue Pie......................................$3.25
German Chocolate Kitty Cake.............................$3.25
~~~~~
BEFORE YOU LEAVE!
.
Be sure to pick up a can of our world-famous Kitty Brickle!
Not only are these old-fashioned tins filled with the most-
delicious Kitty Brickle available in the universe, but they
also display the cute mug of our mascot--and everyone's
favorite kitty--Mittens! Still only $5.00 a can!
~~~~~
--Fingerly


"Weiner" -- Originally Posted: September 17, 2000

After a long rowdy bachelor party, a friend of mine with a
large belly decided to take a nap on a couch while the rest
of the guys finished off the beer. After turning over a
couple of times, his shirt became untucked and rose up on
his body, exposing his navel in a humorous way.

I suggested that we put a hot dog in his navel. Immediately,
one of the guys rushed to the fridge and produced an Oscar
Mayer weiner. Weiner in hand, I approached the sleeping giant....

This event still plays itself out in slow motion in my mind.
I can still see my hand holding that weiner, gradually nearing
the belly just beyond, inching closer, closer.... The shadow
of the weiner creeps ever nearer the hole that is its goal.
Without a sound, the cold weiner slips right into place: Presto!

The guys held back on giving in to the full force of laughter
right away, as another of my friends had taken out his camera
and given the "Shhhh!" sign to everyone as I approached our
sleeping buddy. Click!

Now the laughter came full force from everyone, waking our
weiner friend. I'm still amazed at how quickly he caught on to
the fact that a weiner was lodged in his navel, how quickly he
removed it, and how quickly he joined in with the laughter....

I don't think anyone checked the weiner afterwards to see if any
navel lint had become attached to it. Sad....

--Fingerly


"Stuff" -- Originally Posted (or was it?): October 30, 2000

The bulletin board is a place where people write stuff.
Not only this, but it is also a place where people read
stuff, too. With all of this reading and writing going
on, one should be able to gather that communication is
taking place. And to communicate, we have to have a
common language. A good dose of education also helps in
passing ideas and information effectively to other people.
We all know the supreme importance of education: why else
would we bother with chess books?

But the stuff that is written and read on the bulletin
board only seems to make people mad. Everyone gets mad
here. Madness seems to be the rule, but the bulletin
board shouldn't be the cause of our mass admittance to
the Internet loony bin. If anything should cause such
insanity among us, it should be chess, not stuff! Don't
hate the player: hate the game!

When reading stuff makes us mad, we're missing the point.
It's only stuff. If people want to get mad by reading
stuff, they should be reading Mad Magazine. This is a
bulletin board, not Mad Magazine! We should keep this
in mind when we write stuff on the bulletin board. Even
the stuff we write ourselves is only stuff, and only so
because others are bound to misunderstand it.

Besides, isn't it possible for everyone to be right about
everything, at least in their own way? If not, then can't
we expect there to be at least one Caissan who is right all
the time? Surely, we can all disagree on this. Of all the
people here, I'm certainly one of them.

--Fingerly


A Note to Karaya -- Originally Posted: November 3, 2001

 -      -  -   -    - --- - --   - ---

- - - - -- - - - - --- ----
- --- - - - -- - -- -- -
-- - - - - - -- -- - -
-- --- - - - -- - - --
- - - - -- -- - - -- --- -
- - - -- - - - - -
- - - - - -- --
-- --- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
-- - - -- - - ---
--
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